Disclaimer: Image used for Featured image is not mine
I kind of agree to this. But then again, there are people who are not open to talking about their past relationships and there are also others who are not keen on knowing about their partner’s past relationships. It is a sensitive topic for me. However, I did asked my fiancé’s first love at some point—his past relationships and endeavours when he was younger was not a secret to me. I knew all of it—if not all, almost all of it—*insert evil laugh*
I asked him about his “first love” and past relationship/s while we were walking one night. It was just out of curiosity. He hesitated at first, because I might get jealous or something (jealous person here). I reassured him I’ll be fine and if I start to get mad, all he have to do is to remind me that it was all in the past.
It all happened when he was in high school—in the Philippines, not here. I am not going into details because it’s not my story to tell LOL. BUT, when he was done telling me the story, I came to understand why he never held my hand in public. He used to say that it’s because it felt like he was holding a child’s hand. Well, this was before—he can hold my hand now if we’re in public and while walking (HHWW lol). Anyway, I asked whether his ex knew his side of the story—it was all a misunderstanding—and he said no because his ex didn’t tell him the reason why they broke up. When he was done telling me his story, I kind of felt bad that their relationship ended up that way. To the point that he questioned me whether I wanted him to get back to his ex. Since I was so curious, I had to know the girl’s name. After so much hesitation, he showed me her Facebook profile.
He admitted that he was acting how he was (before I came, HAHAHA) because of that ex—aka “fucked up”. He said he was traumatized and all his past actions were a reflection(?) or a way to defend himself so he would not get hurt again. To make things clear: we’ve been together for 5, almost 6 years now—and he never cheated on me in any way. He didn’t text or flirted with other girls while he was in college. And whenever I joked that someone sent him a flirty message, he’d always say: “if I am going to cheat, I would’ve done it a long time ago” Which to be honest, is true.
Okay, now I’m trailing off. Talking about the ex or past relationship is one thing and being friends with them is another. I’m fine talking about it, but the mere thought of my partner being friends with the ex is kind of not okay. I remember back then, he was planning to go home in the Philippines with his friends. Lowkey, I was not okay—I kept imagining that what if, he went home and his exes will attend one of their “welcome back” parties and will flirt with him, etc., etc. Yes, I have the worst imagination ever. But stuff like that happen, okay? And whenever he asked if I trust him, I always say yes—but I don’t trust the people around him. Touché. Honestly, I am torn between being okay and not for exes to be friends again. A part of me is saying it’s okay, it is a mature thing to do. The paranoid me is saying, nah! They’ll end up falling for each other again.
Bottomline is: if you’re ready to talk about your past relationship/s and your partner is okay with it—then go, talk about it. But if your partner is not okay with it, please don’t. The other might feel that they are being compared to the “ex”. Also, don’t use this as an excuse to actually compare your previous experiences to your current one because if you do that, YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE. Keep in mind that every relationship is different.
Yeah, I’m definitely sidetracked. That’s it for now. Stay safe! P.S I have permission to publish this post from fiancé LOL. And I don’t have an ex so I couldn’t really talk about my previous experience because I had none to share with in the first place.
Ciao!
