Saturday. November 1st
My friend threw a party for his birthday celebration. And just like the other parties that we’ve been, this one also had a ‘drinking session’. Me and my girl friends had decided a week before that we’re going to drink — because we aren’t really drinking any alcohol during parties. We didn’t bring our cars — we are THAT determined to take this challenge LOL. Anyways, we’ve had two bottles of smurf Smirnoff each (the drink’s name sounds like that lol) it was cranberry and lime flavoured. My verdict? It wasn’t too bad. Anyways, we also tried my friend’s mix, I think it has vodka, lemon, chilli, and uhm another fruit. It was good at first but the aftertaste is well, bleh. I didn’t get drunk but I started to feel dizzy and sleepy. Around 3:30AM, me and my other girl friend (the other went home before us) decided to call it a night. Since we had to walk, this friend of ours (whom I’ve liked before) presented to walk us home.
It was fun walking and talking with them. Suddenly tho, my girl friend A blurted out that since friend J will walk me home, we might be a couple afterwards. It wasn’t that awkward because we all thought it was funny. And as for me, I’ve already knew that I don’t like him that much anymore. I also told him that I’ve been dreaming about him for days. When it was just the two of us, it suddenly got a little bit serious; a little bit because I just kept on laughing when he was asking ‘what if’s’. To cut the story short, when we were in front of our door, he kissed me. OKAY I know it isn’t a big deal for you guys, but for me it is. Because — IT IS MY FUCKING FIRST KISS. It wasn’t a quick smack on the lips, mind you — it is the kind of kiss that real couples do (LOL) He told me not to tell it to my friends yet — though I wasn’t really planning on saying anything to them in the first place. And since he said and DID that, I thought he’s going to court me after. Guess what, two days after no text or even chat from him. To be honest, what happened that Sunday morning (because it happened at 3:30AM), wasn’t that big deal for me. But it did somehow made me anxious of what’ll happen next. Tuesday morning, I finally had the ‘courage’ to message him. Because if I’ll just leave it like that, our relationship would be awkward and to think we’ve been friends for 3 years now.
Tuesday afternoon, he came over and we talked. He asked if he went too fast and I told him yes. To make the story short lol, he explained that it would be better if we just leave what happened as it is. Like, don’t take whatever we have to another level. And I agree. First reason, we’re both busy with work and that we won’t have time for each other if well, he decided to pursue. He said that he doesn’t want it (the relationship I guess) to go to waste. And since we only have one circle of friends and have known each other for three years, it’ll be bad if it get ruined once something bad happen. For most part, I’ve realized he got a point and well he’s right. Besides, we both have different set of priorities and it’s not the right time. What really surprised me was my reaction. I wasn’t hurt. It didn’t hurt. I didn’t cry. It felt like I didn’t lose anything. Maybe because it happened after my feelings for him subsided. And at least, he had the guts to explain in person rather in text or chat. Kudos to his guts. LOL.
But why did he do that?
Alcohol probably.
LOL
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