You open your laptop, and then logged in to your SNS accounts, browse the internet; or maybe read a saved PDF files/e-books, or listen to your favorite songs; watch a video/movie in YouTube. After a few minutes, you stop whatever you are doing; you let go of the mouse; you take off your headphone/earphone/headset, and then you lie down.
As you curl yourself into a ball, your memories flashed back– It can be a memory seven years ago; a memory from a high school event or maybe a memory from your childhood. Anyways, at some point you find yourself giggling and stifling a laughter because of a silly memory you remembered. But then that laughter will soon be replaced by tears, by uncontrollable tears. Tears that will make you semi-hysterical and will make you ask yourself WTF AM I CRYING FOR?
Somehow, you try to insert lame jokes in between sobs just to lessen the pain (or is there any pain at all?) And then you tell yourself to stop crying. You get up and grab a box of tissue or something to wipe off the mucus that’s mixing with your tears. You stared at the mirror. You’ll see how pathetic and wasted you look. And then you break down once again. Curled yourself into a ball, but you still got no idea why you are crying.
What are the tears for? Frustrations? Anger? Pain? Hate? For what? Nothing at all? Just a random act of boredom? A joke?
HAVE YOU EVER HAD THAT MOMENT?
Asking yourself if you feel empty? Asking God if you could just talk to Him instead of talking to yourself? And then you get up and wake up your sleeping laptop and stare at the monitor.
Open a new tab.
Few minutes later you are back to normal.
– end of entry –